The time for me needing help in terms of finances has passed. $5k in the bank may sound like pennies for most but that is massive for me. I could not tell you when, if ever, I have had $5k in a savings account. And it is going to continue to grow. I weathered the storm without begging. If you have to then you have to but I knew the people around me didn’t have much. Yes, everybody did more than I did. But it helped teach me the most important lesson I have ever learned and the proudest thing I have ever achieved in my life. It taught me to never pity myself. It was a long and hard lesson to learn but it will be hard-wired into my mind for the rest of my life. Liberating too. I am the help. Feel the furthest feelings of fear and shame. I am proud. I have goals and I do what I do to reach my goals. The path isn’t very clear at the moment and to say I do not do everything right would be an understatement but I am trying to figure this shit out. Your goddamn right I didn’t fail, I am on the path to winning. I can see all the examples of people around me who I thought where winning who aren’t winning and do not have great prospects of winning. I do not have shit figured out but I will keep trying until I do, whatever that means to me at any certain point in my life. Do not give a shit about possessions either. Really, shit doesn’t mean anything to me. I just want to win. My ultimate ending is on some lot of land out in a place like Montana. Not exactly some big baller type shit. Just need enough to have a gym and enough land to shoot guns at targets and shit. I have never shot a gun before but I want the freedom to do whatever the fuck I want, for the most part. I am the Sherpa who is here to guide the ones who are about to embark down that particular road.
Wish I was in your part of the state, I'd take you up on that offer. Just went to a range yesterday for the first time in about three decades. Time to get some defense for the homestead.
I have an uncle who is a big hunter. At one point he stopped hunting with a gun because he said it was "too easy", and he started hunting exclusively with a bow. I had my own bow as a kid and had good times shooting targets with it.
I'm not a hunter. I have swords at home. They are functional items. Those are my weapons. I only like to kill things that don't follow social distancing rules. Snakes that get too close to the house basically. Dog will play with it and eventually get hit. A friend likes to bowhunt and has crossbows for those of us unskilled in a real bow. We go on ' hunts' in the woods. I've never seen him kill anything larger than a squirrel. We have lots of deer around and it is fun to track them around and run with them. You can't really go out and chase deer around in the woods with a bunch of guys. People gonna say you weird. So you take bows or rifles and it stops being weird for some reason. So we stick with bows. Although I usually carry a staves or spears. We basically larp.
Scared? I have wooden practice swords if you want to be careful. Or would you prefer foam like at medieval times.