The contest to end all contests... so to speak

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by sportschump, Jan 29, 2016.

  1. sportschump

    sportschump Well-Known Member SportsChump.net

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  2. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    what a great idea!
    here's chumpy's entire blog post
    cap, devil, craig, rube, bz, darth, mousey... let's see what you've got!!!

    The contest to end all contests, so to speak
    by Chris Humpherys | Sports Chump — 90 minutes ago

    [​IMG]
    Oiled up, buns up, I lay there on the massage table. After all, tending bar for forty-plus hours a week and writing for nearly that many requires some painstaking, preventive maintenance.

    As she and I always do, the official licensed massage therapist of SportsChump and I got into a perfectly random conversation about politics and other such things. This particular conversation had to do with guns. Not the ones she happened to be massaging that day. I’m talking actual guns. Like, with ammo and stuff.

    Although we both share rather liberal leanings, we also agree that if someone broke into our houses, threatened our livelihood and/or the livelihood of our loved ones and we happened to own a gun, well, it would be lights out for that motherfucker.

    That got me thinking of all the classic one-liners cinema has blessed us with over the years. Do you feel lucky, well, do ya’ punk? Say hello to my little friend. Hasta la vista, baby. Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? Ezekiel 25:17, the path of the righteous man and the tyranny of wicked and evil men. This is where the law stops and I start remains one of my lesser known but still deliciously cheesy Stallone lines from Cobra.

    The seventies, eighties and even movies from today are filled with lines from heroes about to let villains have it.

    [​IMG]

    So I decided to make light of such a gruesome home intrusion situation by hosting a contest.

    Winner gets a t-shirt.

    Your task is simple. Imagine if you will. Somebody breaks into your house and threatens you and your family with bodily harm. After a brief scuffle from which you come away unscathed, or perhaps a scratch or two for effect, you end up with your weapon of choice, pointing it at the assailant. You’re about to blow him away, cinematically and hypothetically speaking of course.

    What’s your one-liner before you pull the trigger?

    Use your imaginations, gang. It doesn’t have to be a gun either. Paint me the picture. I want you to channel your inner Sly, Arnold and Clint all in one fell swoop.

    The reader who can come up with most fantastic blow-em-away movie line drives home in a brand new SportsChump t-shirt. Fake blood and bullet holes not included.​
     
  3. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    hey chumpy, just to be sure...
    we're creating a line from scratch not using an existing one?
     
  4. sportschump

    sportschump Well-Known Member SportsChump.net

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    From scratch, boys.

    Already have one pretty solid one on the site.
     

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