Dum Dum: I'm giving you a day off at AAA so we can bring up Huff to pitch tomorrow night. Barney: That's cool! Last thing I want to do is witness that hack getting lit up in the first inning. Dum Dum: You're not actually going anywhere. Barney: Wanna bet? I'll be at Red Lobster Bkitch! That means you have one less reliever available Dum Dum: Oh crap. You make a good point. Barney:
JOC: "So how's it feel to be the former starting CF?" DRE: "Well, your Mom doesn't seem to mind." JOC: "Ouch!" DRE: "Yeah, she said that too." JOC: "Wow, dick!!!" DRE: "That too."
VINNY: "Ladies and gentlemen... I have seen some great players in my time..." KERSH: "That's right bkitches, recognize." VINNY: "Yeah, and lately a lot of dickheads..." KERSH: "Wow, grouchy old dick."
KERSH: "Hey babe, wanna meet Cy Hung?" ELLEN: "Clayton..." KERSH: "Okay, how about polishing my MVPenis?" ELLEN: "Clayton..." KERSH: "What?" ELLEN: "We're married now, I don't have to do that shit." KERSH: "Wow, really?" ELLEN: "Well, at least not with you."
Kersh: Hey dumbwaiter. I AM CLAYTON KERSHAW and I ordered the Shirley Temple. Can I please get it TODAY? Vin: Mumbling - Shirley Temple? Mother fkucken spoiled and entitled little rich bkitch. Why do I still do this shit? Black Man Below Vin: I'm about to punch that rich little white boy in the mouth.
Alex: Hey skip. I'm doing the best I can. I think I've earned more opportunities to start. DDD: I don't think so. Unless you mean Oklahoma. In Triple A. Alex: I was serious about not going down there I proved it. DDD: Proved how to be a permanent pine rider. Alex: Don't you want to win? DDD: I am winning. That's why your commie ass is on the bench Alex: Commie? I defected to come here you fucking idiot. DDD: Look Paco. This ain't Mexico city and Fernando ain't here to help you throw one of them scum dog screw balls. Alex: You racist hayseed. I'm not even Mexican. Im Cuban. Oh fuck it. You might as well put Nomar and Hairston in your lineup. DDD: Don't talk shit about my mom or my hairline. You'll be AJ's back up before you know it. Alex: :doh:
Kasten: These photo ops aren't easy after a series like that. AF: You're telling me Kast. Kasten: So what's your plan of attack? AF: I'll make a call and see if Joe is available. Kasten: Torre? Do you think he'd be interested? AF: I was thinking Joe Maddon..........Oh. ....Never mind. You had that hard on for Donnie when you hired me so you let Theo get him. Kasten: So you're blaming Donnie for this debacle of a series. AF: Actually, I'm blaming you fuck face... Now smile for the camera. Kasten: If I were a Christian you would be fired. AF: Blah blah blah. That coming from a Jew that allowed me to hire a Muslim? That's a good one Stan....Gotta run. Me and Farhan have some scrubs to sign. release, reassign, promote, sign and release.
Reporter: Hi Donnie. Thanks for coming. Dum Dum: Hey. Good to see you. Let's talk baseball. Reporter: Can you talk about the series? For instance, there was a call or two many feel you should have challenged and one you could have let go. What was going on in those instances? Dum Dum: I said talk baseball. Not managing. Reporter:
BKITCH: "So there's a Cher concert next week and we're going!" DUDE: "Wow, her outfits are really pretty." KID: "Great [sarcasm] I'm so gonna grow up to be gay."
KARROS: "Yup, glad to be here supporting my team." BKITCH: "Wow, who knew Mitt Romney was a Dodger fan?!!!" KARROS: "Wow, ignorant whore." BKITCH: "Wow, asshole. You just lost the Mexican vote." KARROS: "okay... wow, ignorant Mexican whore." BKITCH: "Wow, racist." KARROS:
DBB: "Okay, I need you to work with Honeycutt on your mechanics." SVS: "Mechanics? with Honeycutt? WTF are you talking about?" DBB: "Look Chris, you're leaving too many balls over the plate." SVS: "Chris?!!! Asshole, I'm not fucken Hatcher!!!" DBB: "C'mon Chris, denial ain't just a river in Mexico." SVS:
GUERRERO: "Man, I miss Cuba." MATTINGLY: "Miss Cuba? I bet she's a real looker!" GUERRERO: "Huh, what???" McGWIRE: "Don't ask."