I'm sorry you're going through this, man. It's difficult to advise with such limited information, and clearly your heart is in the right place...but it's not your responsibility. Your uncle and mother should be able to survive working odd jobs, budgeting carefully, and making sacrifices to their lifestyle. It's one thing to provide a place to stay, but if they're able bodied, there's no excuse to be 100% dependent on you. Again, I don't know their age and specific circumstances, but it sounds like you're being taken advantage of. Once you determine what to do about your mother and uncle, the road to financial recovery is easily within reach. No matter how bad it seems. Dave Ramsey and Chris Hogan offer pretty sound, conservative financial advice. They outline this in "baby steps"... Baby Steps: 1. Save up $1,000 as a starter emergency fund. 2. Cut up your credit cards and pay off all debt except your mortgage using a debt snowball. 3. Save up 3 to 5 months of living expenses for a fully funded emergency fund. 4. Contribute 15% of income towards retirement (divide that 15% between mutual funds, 401k, roth IRAs etc. diversify. Long term investments) 5. College funding for children 6. Pay off home early 7. Build wealth and give. Also, BUDGET. Assign every dollar to a specific area. No matter what your income is or how much you owe, it will give you peace of mind knowing you have enough to cover a certain amount. Take care of the 3 most important things first: Food, shelter, transportation. Everything else comes second. Eventually, it will all be settled or taken care of. Cut up the cards, don't finance anything except a mortgage and even then make sure you put 20% down and the monthly payment and taxes are no more than 25% of your take home pay. The borrower is slave to the lender. Take control. It's all about behavior. You can get out of this man. You may not even have debt, which would be awesome. From there, it's simply changing some spending behaviors and having a tough convo with your mom. Don't put up with guilt trips or take her advice because she's broke. She's in a situation where she has to rely on her son which means she didn't have a plan financially. With the right planning, we can self insure being out of work, sustaining an injury, etc. Here's a free online budgeting tool: https://www.everydollar.com Here's a link to Financial Peace University, which is provided online and also hosted by local churches: https://www.daveramsey.com/fpu Do it.
don't mean to simplify it but when it comes to being resentful of others in our lives its pretty much our choice i admire being committed to family/friends/lovers what have you but its completely your choice and your happiness matters no one but you can decide how your time is spent on this rock hurdling through space once you understand that then you will be comfortable that you are exactly where you want to be if you aren't then walk away since you owe nothing to anyone misery is a choice at least thats how i see it file under argue for your limitations and sure enough they are yours
Hi. I wont give you financial advice or worse yet spiritual advice. Because thise financial gurus have never been where you are. And Karma is for hindus and it is 100 percent bullshit. There is no such thing as karma. And ther is no 12 step financial program that guarantees to fix your situation. You my brother are fucked. You deserve and need to die. Your life is over. You need a new one. I lived your exact life. I have been where you are. I was killing myself to live. Your hapiness does not matter. Keep longing for it and you will never recover. It took me 10 years. I did it the wrong way first. Cost me a lot of time. Dont follow these guys advice. They dont have the faintest idea. These people ARE your responsibility. This responsibility might be your only hope. You need to repent. Turn back on your life and walk the opposite direction. Go back to being a teenager for a time. Be born again. Then grow up to be a bigger man. And never forget... Fuck the world. But fuck her gently. When you decide. Im still above citrus college.
this is both the best, yet worst, advice i’ve ever heard Reverend Jim Jones, David Koresh and Heaven’s Gate like this.
I am embarrassed with my previous post. I am embarrassed because I come off as a whiny bitch who is not in control of every decision I make. That was a really bad day for me and I needed a place to vent and I view this place as a haven for all expressions. Fact is I put myself in this position and I will map my way out. Currently creating the foundation of my plan to get out of this position and the first part was some honest talks, I feel like they went well. Have always been fairly responsible financially in terms of spending my money but TB's post made me have a desire for a plan. I like the idea of a plan. I don't feel sorry for myself nor do I feel defeated. Life is hard but you have to keep getting up after you fall down, no matter what. Truthfully, probably the best thing to happen to me, I have learned a lot of lessons.
I dont think your previous post was embarrassing at all. I dont think you came off as a whiny bitch at all. Your initial post was about reality not the feels. While it had something to do with how you feel it was not about how you feel. That previous post that you think was embarrassing is actually super empowering.
so after a saturday night w a couple of real micks from Ireland and a few bottles of whisky i was left w sunday decide to head out to the beach w my girl and we hit costco for supplies as we wonder a little in the store i'm standing at this bunch of clothes w $5 t shirts and whatever but i'm struck for a second by this little long haired dude digging for his size next to me suddenly it occurs to me i know this guy and i'm trying to figure out where it is i know him from then it hits me i used to see this guy rudy sarzo on the sunset strip playing w the early quiet riot and randy rhodes played w ozzy and whitesnake and i guess whoever else but he absolutely had a prolific career in music i don't think anyone else knew it was him and i didn't say a word to him although in retrospect i wish i had was curious to know how his life has gone and by all accounts he is a gracious and humble human being guess i might have thought i still smelled like jamesons idk kind of a trip when you think of all the things he's seen and had laid at his feet that he'd find himself digging through costco tshirts next to me lol
you know my first thought was look at this funky dude getting in the way of me and my $5 tshirt lol i looked him up and his net says he's around $16mil that makes sense for his career he doesn't need to shop like that and neither do i tbh but i respect the hell out of that he's been married to his wife for 27 years and seems to be one of the good guys he left ozzy after rhoads died because he couldn't stand osbourne being fucked up all the time didn't know that he offered to do tours or whatever until they found a new bassist but that was gracious and i guess ozzy punched him in the face at the US festival...what a dick
costco does have some pretty decent clothing when you need something to cover your nakedness and dont want to deal with whatever fashion fad is dominating the menswear lane of your favorite stores.