DSP walking w the Devil

Discussion in 'Los Angeles DODGERS' started by LAdiablo, Jul 13, 2022.

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  1. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    didn't take it as anything other than playful mate
    nothing serious going on here just bored and banned from fb for a prince harry lobotomy comment
    the truly twisted stuff i still keep to myself
    homo erotic and sexually depraved dreams are impossible to explain anyway
    no masking in LA and gf's kid got in to a private school that doesn't require vaccines how cool is that?
    feel like i've been neglecting that gf in some respect but what else is new?
    today was a full 60 days
    sin bebida and 60 years old i find myself in a strange space of a sort of limbo
    amazing how many things i wasn't paying attention to and the amount of chaos i'm still capable of
    its a good place to be i'm lucky
     
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  2. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    I haven't read them all, my friend. Just a lot. And remember ... I read while guys like Diablo & StatMan & you were getting blown by cheerleaders. I was a bookworm and I played D&D. I saved my skank years for my early 40s, like a lesser Ron Jeremy without the statutory stuff.
     
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  3. rube

    rube DSP Legend Staff Member Administrator

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    Do it!
    Keep doing it.
    I'm letting it all hang out lately.
    It's been hard for me because I purposely hide myself from writing.
    I don't like being biographical.
    But now I'm being more docudoc about it.
    I feel a small healthy detachment that allows me to be in the first person instead of hiding as an npc.
    Like when you came to my house I hid the fact my hand had been recently mauled by my dog and the er doc had to pull out a large string of nerves that had gotten split into two silver hairs braiding around a slice of skin.
    Remember how anxious I was to have you guys not touch my dog or let him be too friendly. I never mentioned it on here when it happened and how it happened.
    Not till a long time after.
    Or if I did I don't remember.
    But when you came over I was barely getting used to using my hand again and going to the rehab. But I managed to not give away that I was maimed in one hand until the problem at the gate when you handed me the bolt cutters and I pretended like I actually had a chance of popping that lock when I could barely grip the handle.
    But I tried.
    Then promptly gave them back to you.
    But I couldn't open a a bag of chips without using my teeth.
    And even now my index finger feels numb and tingly and painful and extra sensitive all at the same time its even impervious to fire for a few seconds before I feel it in the bone.
    And if I prick it it don't bleed.
    It hurts like hell if I accidentally flick it on a hard surface. Like when you got a swollen nerve ending on the side of a knuckle and even slight bumps feel like you got jabbed by needles.

    So tell us your stories.
    You never know.
    I may one day decide to print the dsp anthology collection of poty posts as a physical non digital nft that is fungible and available exclusively in brick and morty stores in Rock album size art and format.
     
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  4. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    so that circle jerk was just a figment of my imagination?
     
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  5. rube

    rube DSP Legend Staff Member Administrator

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    Your imagination is as dirty as the pipe i tried to get you to smoke out of.
    I wanted to paint a nice picture for you guys.
    Kinda like a slice of waking life.
    Or a live action piece of performance art.
    Like that episode of vice where they go visit inbred Appalachian families.

    I placed every prop in perfect position to give off a kind of rock bottom aesthetic.
    I even wore an old led zep shirt full of burn holes to look even more the part.
    The fact that i had two perfectly clean pipes in full view yet insisted we use the filthy one was the chefs kiss
    And instead of feeding you we had you split a tortilla on your way out.
    I had a slow roast going but I totally forgot about timing it right. Again!
    I wanted to paint a nice before picture.
    Now it's time to paint the after picture.
    Bukowski did a thing but the point is always to do your thing. And that thing is always better than doing what bukowski did when you arent bukowski.
    We all painting one way or another.

    Well the tortilla making lady in the family died yesterday. She didn't make it but a few weeks after her husband died.
    She was really smitten by you. You were her type. My uncles type too. Poor guy was crushed when he learned how Rock Hudson died.
    His idol.
    And my uncle was my idol in a way.
    Now I gotta be the idol.
    I have no idea.
    Other than to be like him.
    Which is his sons worst nightmare.
    Whe they recognize I am their father.
    And have all of the dada data since my house was my uncles favorite place to flop at.

    It's a lot easier being the idle.
    Maybe the new tech religion should release the Apple iDoll.
    Fuck Build a Bear.
    Buy your child the iDoll.
    Programmed to validate every one of your child's special emotions while also becoming their one and only true cope.
    This state of the art coping mechanism will guarantee Apple has control of every instinct your inner child daily suppresses.
    While simultaneously stimulating their the sensual nature of the five senses tonm the fullest extent that our advertisers can extract relavant metadata.
    Doling out this Christmass.
    To a SJW mind control retail center near you.
     
  6. Bluezoo

    Bluezoo Among the Pantheon

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    You kids still have the world by the shorthairs...ahhh..to be 60.
    Not they were my halcyon days.
    They were extremely tough years for me, actually, but you know what I mean.
     
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  7. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    what a trip
    i always wondered why people tried so hard to present or hide things i barely noticed or if i did notice it was just that
    maybe its how i always feel welcome even when i'm not but when i'm invited in to a home and asked to be a part of that i'm not looking at that spot on the floor if you know what i mean
    after meeting someone a lot of times i hear that "did you notice" and maybe its "his hand" or "this or that" but i really didn't
    i'm just not present in that way if that makes sense
    if you had a Dali print or a book on the table i'd probably comment or pick it up but i don't notice or care about dirty bongs i guess
    the Bukowski thing made me step back a second especially since i didn't knowingly plagiarize a style but especially coming from an educator guessed i had
    i certainly have read and admired the guy so its flattering but also strange and sobering to hear but like anything else it just washed over since this is as real as i get
    unless i'm doing push ups on your kitchen floor w your family and eating whatever's handed to me
    always an interesting dynamic to be out of your element and acceptance is key and goes both ways
    you and yours made us feel welcome and that's all that matters to me anyway
    the only thing i am very conscious of is danger and of course that doesn't exist on your mountain unless it was that dog and i heeded your warning
    never detected a hint of judgement and just enjoyed meeting new people who were smiling broadly and if they were laughing at me i'm cool w that for real
    i guess i've always been a little unconscious about being laughed with or at anyhoo so its very much just a roll w the moment and the tortilla was delicious
    all the tales of plants and experiences you regaled us with still come up long after we left and the gf always asks about you
    i get along well w her for the most part based on mutual curiosity and willingness to try almost anything instead of doing the same thing
    even when we share a drink its never about the same thing in the same place unless its on her balcony w CA rum overlooking the canyon at sundown
    need to go meet w the new school for the gf's kid and i'm probably more excited than she they are!
    going to be a whole new reality going from the years of zoom to actual human interaction in a place where they are loved and not forced to vax
    very sorry to hear for your loss and thought it was your mom cooking but i was just bouncing around a mass of latino so i must have missed that part
    think i may have something for you and will be heading to SD next week to pickup the sailor in her family w the new active student
    probably just a stop and drop but hopefully we can say hi for a minute cheers
     
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  8. rube

    rube DSP Legend Staff Member Administrator

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    I don't know about some people but I got a tumor that produces chemicals that make my brain think everything is going according to script. And sometimes it feels like the script is being written in real time.
    But when im writing the story of what happened I write from the point of view of retrospect.
    In my head it all make some kind of weird sense that is funny to me.

    I felt super comfortable with letting you guys get the full experience.
    I dont let anyone down here.
    Just my nephews when we play cards.
    An old ex from 20 years ago just popped in out of the blue wondering if i was still alive. I took her out instead but then I told her i was fine with her ocd and general personality disorder and zynga type game addiction but I can't deal with a narcissist dominating bitch and I drove her back to her car went and got my dog and drove right past her with better company.
    I know i shouldn't be throwing out fresh fish when it falls from heaven, it's probably a cardinal sin.
    But I dunno how fresh this fish is if you know what I mean. I had it 20 years ago and while it was a tasty brine it did leave a little funky after effects that lingered for a few months. It was less clean crisp boca colorada tilapia and a little more of that darker fattier more pungent swampriver catfish.

    I saw you looking at a piece of art that covering a missing cabinet door.
    I found it on the side of the road.
    I liked how it was not a texture I normally see.
    It had a small flaw which I wanted to fix.
    But my old dog fucked with it once and scratched out a big chunk.
    It's a weird thing.

    You made a big impression and so did lala with your humility. You showed to be a proper dirtbag. Low to the ground.
    I was in no way expecting you to come with her. It threw me for a loop.
    I still can't believe I brought you guys down into that room.
    And that lala didn't run out screaming.

    I got a little something for you too.
    Nothing huge, just a commemorative plate.
     
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  9. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    so my kid invited me to her bf's mom's birthday party in sherman oaks tonight and of course i'm in
    unintentionally forgot my phone but that was really good and liberating
    i think i've said before the bf's mom used to be up until very recently the meatheads personal secretary so conversation has always been nice but limited
    walking in to the party there's a live band set up in the detached garage in the small backyard and a bunch of 60s+ hippies are camped out on chairs everywhere
    little bit of pretension initially since i'm wearing one of my grunt shirts w the American flag as my not so subtle statement
    but instantly engage w a funny dude hanging out of the door and i start to remember how to do this backyard party thing
    apparently all the people are from the neighborhood mostly and so i start meeting some of these characters
    i'm talking to one lady who's a little tipsy already and her bf/husband and then grab something to eat and hang back talking to the kid and the bf
    bf tells me the lady i was talking to was in American Graffiti and some movie call Man who fell to Earth...
    are you fucking kidding me she worked w Bowie???
    ok after meeting more really nice neighbors i angle back to THE lady i want to talk to and just come right out and say it
    my kid tells you worked on MWFTE and i'll come weed your yard just to hear stories about the man
    she's like tell me what you want to know and all the sudden its weird because she appears to be ready for and interview or something and she's not in great condition
    the ladies bf is really cool and as i get up from a crouch near her to stand and talk to him we're discussing Earl Slick and Adrian Belew etc.
    suddenly some guy is standing next to me "excuse me do you know who Adrian Belew is?
    uh yes he's a fantastic musician and we were discussing his work with Bowie
    "oh right, well i'm going to see him at the Shrine next month with so and so and I used to work for EMI and we had Bowie in the late 80s"
    ok sorry high actress lady i'm going to be talking to this guy now lol
    he starts moving towards the dessert area and i just tag along "yeah we had the Stones around the same time but the sort of lost it"
    emotional rescue, tattoo you, lets dance, tin machine, Sales brothers, Nile Rodgers i'm matching him and dude is gushing awesome knowledge and seems a little coked out
    we're now talking across the dessert table and a couple of people are just standing there listening to our conversation when...
    birthday girl, bf's mom, no nonsense Irish woman says "you two need to move away from the dessert table"
    fuck i've been cockblocked by the birthday girl and lose touch w EMI guy damn it
    met a few more interesting types including one very interesting lady i would have pursued if it weren't for my ex and my kid being there
    a lady who was teaching on the south side of Chicago holy shit
    that was a really good conversation and we had a lot more in common than i would have imagined
    crazy how tight that one little street in SO was and i think i must have met most of them and their dogs
    did i mention the band was really good?
    started out playing in memory of Elizabeth Reed and i knew i was back in a very comfortable place where's the keg?
    the band was a bar band but they had a guest singer that was really good and a dude played a few songs on bass that was clearly a session guy
    I'll post something by here as soon as i can figure out her last name
    range from Paul Rodgers to Janis to Joe Cocker it was impressive
    not what i expected but glad i came
    back home to a more and more possessive akita that wrestles me into the room and let's me know to stop fucking around w other dogs
     
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  10. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    Outstanding. I watched that Bowie film for the first time a few months ago. Now I need to see it again.

    What'd you eat on the dessert table?
     
  11. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    leave it to an irish woman to fuck everything up
    stupid soith
     
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  12. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    Truth. As Liam Clancy sang,

    "First I met a Yankee girl
    and she was fat & lazy
    next I met an Irish girl
    she damn bear drive me crazy"

     
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  13. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    a caramel cake confection and a crazy toffee cheesecake w and awesome hard graham cracker crust i got a huge piece of
    her name is Molly Durand and she was a straight banshee
    an idea of her voice
     
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  14. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    yesterday morning the kid comes in my room, "dad there's water all over the bathroom floor"
    right
    i know what this is immediately because occasionally the drain...anyway long story short i had deduced long ago the toilet needed caulking around the base
    no big deal and i had identified it a year ago
    actually had the tube of tub and tile right on my desk and thought about how silly i hadn't done this small job already
    so after washing the wet towels from yesterday i was only making excuses for not doing it now and was going to do it last night but the kid came home and well maybe tomorrow
    kid pokes her head in the room this morning and reminds me she'll be working all day
    ok i've got to get this done today and fuck i'm good at eliminating problems why is this even still on the agenda
    as i locate the gun i find a partially used tube of the same stuff i need i'm thinking this is 5 minutes maybe and grab a wet throwaway piece of rag
    repuncture the tube, watch as the caulk shadow begins rise in the top and get in place to get a nice bead around that commode
    angle of the tip cut is perfect except after a couple of pumps nothings coming out of the tip and i back away knowing something is wrong
    then it hits me why it took so long to get down this
    i'm not particularly good at this shit and in fact strongly dislike it
    its not that i don't have occasional success w it but things like toilets are a real pain for a basic caulk guy like me
    as i back out the tube its clear the back end has exploded in the gun and filled w caulk and i'm out of easily available rags to clean up my gun so tp is up next
    at this point my dog has pulled up a chair and appears to be waiting for a FUCK to come out of my mouth but its early so no shouting
    clear the gun and grab the new $5 tube i should have used in the first place (why do i save partial tubes???) and finish it
    is that caulk in my hair?
    make the rounds and clean what i can see
    good thing about caulk is it dries up and will peel off most things in case i missed something
    back to the real world whatever that is
     
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  15. lastatman

    lastatman DSP Legend

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    Yup, I save partial tubes too and they're always dried out the next time I try them.
     
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  16. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    i was tortured yesterday
    as bad as the heat has been i met friends for breakfast in Valencia and went about my day dropping off a kid from school and small bs
    gf got off work and wanted to run an errand and grab early dinner while catching the first part of the game
    then my phone starts ringing
    first its one of the friends from breakfast that ended up hiking into a concert area setting up for tomorrow
    this is the kind of shit he and i used to do all the time and we are laughing about him directing them to paint maga signs on the front of the stage w red circle and cross by saying its in support of bidens speech etc and just as i'm ending that conversation i see rube calling in and it disconnects the car bluetooth and i lose both calls
    finally i'm out of the car and trying to get set up in this little local brewery 818 and get the gf a beer while both rube and friend blow up my phone
    go outside and call back friend who's obviously buzzed and won't listen since his story is so cool and well...click
    ok what's rube doing, well when i call its not rube
    apparently rubes cousin has seen a text i sent months ago when some of us were concerned where he was and he is now using rubes phone
    never met the man but he is also buzzed and wanting to tell me about a warehouse he wants to open in Pomona and have i been there and why am i in this conversation
    i keep trying to say i've got to go but his pacing is perfect to cut me off w another question i have no answer to and now friend is blowing up my phone again wtf
    rubes cousin is a nice guy and hey i'm sorry but yo yo yo yo i gotta go hey hey hey bro gotta go and click
    ok i pick up friend call again but tell him to shut up a minute while i order food at the outside bbq which was delicious
    back to his story and he's sending pictures and laughing and its pretty funny but i'm not there and let's pick this up tomorrow...and another friend i have been trying to get in touch w recently is calling in
    first friend is too into his story so i just hang up again and take the next call and guess what? he's ripped and laughing hysterically you have to be fucking kidding me
    this guys a great dude i've travelled with a lot and he's likely behind a bottle of wine but its loud and i can't make out anything he's saying and now morning friend is blowing me up again WTF!
    i tell traveling buddy i'll call him back in a bit, answer morning buddy who hasn't skipped a beat and tell him i can't and sorry he's on his own and go back inside to gf
    haven't seen her in 4 days or something and trying to do my best to be there while morning buddy continues calling and gf is asking why
    while i'm trying to explain that i notice the score is 4-0 and this Latino guy in my immediate line of site has now decided its a good time to question me on my shirt
    its a grunt style w an American flag on the side and as soon as he can see i notice him he points at the flag and says "what are you a cop?"
    no i'm not a cop, don't really like cops, but support something between police state and chaos ok? ...not even close
    dude doesn't miss a beat and launches into a diatribe about what makes him unique etc and i do my best to suffer him until his friend gets back
    he does the hand gesture of sorry and hand tilt of too much to drink as he gets him out of there no worries no problem back to gf
    the foods arrived at the table i'm hungry and we dig in as gf starts in on a story apparently she's been waiting hours to tell me
    she is going to Israel w a family she helps and i've been included in the trip conversation and now she is describing their daughter
    never met any of these people and it seems a bit too strange to just show up in Israel but they travel 5 star and she'll have her own room so i'm listening
    the daughter who is very liberal has two kids that both think they're opposite sex of what they are and one is engaged to a tranny
    she's directing my attention to a table of strange nerd type people that include an albino and and i'm telling her to keep it down and not to stare
    she can get somewhat animated by her 2nd beer and she's past that so i try engaging her and ignoring the now boring game
    she's talking about a man that looks like a tomboy and i'm saying "right, a man that dresses and acts like a woman trying to be a man" NO
    and after five times of us not understanding each other i'm pointing to a chubby lesbian and saying "he looks like her right?" uh yeah yeah omg where am i?
    at this point she wants me to taste this dessert sample the lady left at the table and i'm not finished w my angus nachos which are great but maybe not w that confection
    but she has this morsel on a fork and is pushing it closer to my face anyway, no thank no thank you and each time i say that the fork comes closer until
    a portion of it ends up in my lap
    i'm like "why did you do that?" and even though i'm not yelling it i'm obviously spun out now and walk away to wash it off and collect my thoughts, splash my face
    i'm not really angry in the moment just defeated and return to the table and just hang out until she finishes her beer and we get out of there
    not sure how or why any of these elements conspired to smash me but they win, i'm defeated, lets try again tomorrow
    this morning i'm going through voicemails and hear a familiar voice breaking up but i'm pretty sure its Finski, did you change your number too?
    close to 100 days but i'm thinking i'm getting ready for a drink of something stronger than te frio
     
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  17. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    damn
    i feel your exasperation just reading that
    was like a rube diatribe, except that it was compelling and made sense
     
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  18. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    That was me, brother. First I tried to call Rube but he never picks up anymore. Then I called you just to say hello.

    Yes. I'm in the 502 area code now. I'll text you now. Call when convenient. Hope your mom is well.

    And don't let the bastards win. You're a winner, brother.
     
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  19. rube

    rube DSP Legend Staff Member Administrator

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    It's not like that
    Just cuz you hear the like ring doesn't mean there is a phone attached.
    I'm not ghosting anyone.
    But explaining why I don't have a phone and why my car got bashed in and why I'm laid out is just more fuel for winners.
    The winners will tell me to go buy a phone. What's the problem?
    The losers will tell me to go get a free Obama phone. What's the problem?

    Oh look josh homme singing Elton john songs about horny backed toads and disposable mongrels.
    Well guess it's back to the plough for me.
    Gotta keep digging that swale.
    Sure it's just a glorified ditch, a long gapped rut for me to slip and slide in.
    There's no hope of fruits here.
    No shade in the day and too many predators in the night.
    That's how it is living like a refugee.
    But eventually I'll hit water.
    And turn my little river into four.
     
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  20. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    i know he didn't mean it like that and "the bastards" were the imaginary elements i said were conspiring
    i liken it to a day when i wake up and hit the first traffic light, and the next one, and the next one, at some point you have to laugh or go crazy
    last night just came out of the blue and i was ready to talk to you when i saw the call and just didn't have the proper mindset to comprehend your cousin in that moment
    he responded from a text from over a month ago apparently when guys were worried they hadn't heard from you and i asked if you were ok
    now i know that's not you but its as close as i can come to reaching the man on the silver mountain so i'll wait on your new number and talk to you here
    and wtf does josh homme have to do w your foray into the stone age we will all soon be enjoying?
     
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