DODGERS The PHOTO CAPTION Thread

FAN: "Hey Mattingly, Crawford... Giants rule, you guys fucken suck!!!"
DBB: "Man I love Spring Training."
CARL: "Me too, man. Me too."
TOMMY: "I should kill you both."

 

PA ANNOUNCER: "And now on the screen, video of Hunter Pence getting his arm broken."
BARNEY: "Haha, fkag."
TURNER: "That's right, punk!"
KERSHAW: "Aw man, that sucks."
BARNEY: "Wow, Clayton. You really are a good man."
TURNER: "Yeah, a real humanitarian."
KERSHAW: "Nah, bkitches. I'm bummed because now I have to wait 6-8 weeks to strike his special needs ass out."

 

RYU: "한不ㅎ終ㅏ朝ㄴ會而愚智"
URIBE: "¿Que?"
RYU: "글者조可선浹旬而學國"
URIBE: "¿Que?"
RYU: "文아햇글우리자아침故者"
URIBE: "¿Que?"
MATTINGLY: "Hey guys, how do you two understand each other?"
RYU: "者조可선우리자아침故 [translation: If ball hit you in groin, I laugh.]"
URIBE: "Sí comprende."
MATTINGLY: "Okay fellas, carry on."
RYU: "會而愚智글浹旬而學國 [translation: your wife has intercourse with the goats.] "
URIBE: "Sí, pínche payaso."

 

plagiarizing dumb and dumber...

SVS: "Nice ass."
MAC: "Yeah, he must work out."

 

DBB: "Check it out honey..."
WIFE: "What now?"
DBB: "If I put my thumb between Jr's legs, it makes it look like he's packing."
WIFE: "lol, that'd be a first in the Mattingly family."
DBB: "Wow, bkitch."
WIFE: "Am I lying?"
BABY: "wrghwewgurglel [translation: FML]"

 

WILLS: "Smile muthafukkers, so dey can see yo dark skinned azzes."
HOWIE: "Wow, racist."
JIMMY: "Worse, black on black hater."
WILLS: "Wrong. I brown, u niggazz is tar black."
HOWIE: "I hate you."
JIMMY: "I wish they'd traded to the Mets instead."

 

McGWIRE: "Great to have you and Howie on the team."
ROLLINS: "Thanks, man."
McGWIRE: "This team needed some darkies in the lineup."
ROLLINS: "I hate this team."

 

MATTINGLY: "So what's the problem guys?"
ROLLINS: "The problem is your coaching staff is a bunch of racists!"
MATTINGLY: "Racists?"
KENDRICK: "Yeah man, and that punk ass Uncle Tom Wills!"
MATTINGLY: "Uncle Tom?"
ROLLINS: "Yeah man, so wutcha gonna do?!!!"
MATTINGLY: "Well from what I'm hearing, it sounds like a domestic problem."
KENDRICK: "What???"
MATTINGLY: "I mean, if your uncle is doing some stuff, I can't get involved."
ROLLINS: "Huh???"
MATTINGLY: "Like I had this crazy ex-wife coming after me, and the bkitch was bananas."
KENDRICK: "Man, u iz one stupid muthafukker."
ROLLINS: "Incompetent too."
MATTINGLY: "Yeah, but at least I'm not a racist."
KENDRICK: "True dat."
ROLLINS: "Werd."
MATTINGLY: "Alright, carry on bkitches."
KENDRICK: "I love this team."
ROLLINS: "Me too."

 

BOCHY: "Hey Donnie, how you doing?"
DONNIE: "Yo Boch, check out my junk."
BOCHY: "Damn son, what's wrong with that shit?"
DONNIE: "Hey, it might be small but it still works. And what up with your big ass dome bro?""
BOCHY: "You know what they say, big dome big..."
DONNIE: "Hat?"
BOCHY: "Yeah, hat [sarcasm]. Your wife liked it though..."
DONNIE: "Yeah, she's really into headgear."
BOCHY: "Don't I know it bro. Don't I know it..."

 

that is awesome

 

DUDE: "Smile, mother of three."
BKITCH: "I am, father of one."
DUDE: "Wow, slut."
BKITCH: "I know, right?"

 

LASORDA: "Whoa, what's with the two black eyes?"
KID [on left]: "Wow, pedo."
LASORDA: "No shithead. Black eyes, not black guys."
KID [on left]: "Oh shit, may bad."

 

AJ: "So you're telling me babies don't come from storks."
WALLACH: "That's right."
MATTINGLY: "Aw man, that's crazy talk."

 

TOMMY: "Mind if I give you a little advice?"
DBB: "No, I welcome it."
TOMMY: "Retire."
DBB: "Wow, what a dick."
TOMMY: "Funny, that's what you wife said before I knocked her up."
DBB: "What, to retire?"
TOMMY:

 

HONEYCUTT: "...and keep your pitches down and — WHOA!!! — what the fuck happened to your eye?!!!"
URIAS: "Um... it's always been like this?"
HONEYCUTT: "Are you sure? Looks to me like a spider bite!"
URIAS: "Asshole, it's a birth defect!"
MATTINGLY: "Come on Jose, denial ain't just a river in Mexico."
URIAS: "Moron, it's Julio, not Jose! And the Nile isn't... aw fuck it!..."

 

HONEYCUTT: "WHOA!!! — that eye is acting up again!!!"
URIAS: "Guys, seriously..."
MATTINGLY: "Nah man, we're gonna shut you down until it goes away."
URIAS: "I hate you both more than I've ever hated anything ever."

 

LOPES: "Finally get to sit at the front of a bus and I get stuck across from that tool Bundy. FML."