"Let's see, were down 12-0. I'll use Perez and Wilson here in the 4th, then go with Withrow, Wright, League, Howell and Kenley. Hell, I think Beckett, Zack, Haren and Kersh need a little work too. Maybe I'll bring Maholm back in to finish things off. Wait, I can do that right... or is that only in Little League???..." _
BENCH: "Hey Dumbfuck!!!" LOPES: "Me?" BENCH: "Nope" PUIG: "Me?" BENCH: "Nah" UMP: "Me? BENCH: "No way" DBB: "Well who then???" BENCH/LOPES/PUIG/UMP:
LEAGUE: "So what are we going to do after the game?" AGON: "Your Wife!" ELLIS: "Your Mom!" KERSH: "Your Sister!" ZACK: "Your Daughter!" DRE: "Your Dad" [brief silence...] LEAGUE/AGON/ELLIS/KERSH/ZACK: "FAG!!!" __
KEMP: "Yo, so u dawgz wanna chill afta tha game?" FIGGY: "Can't, I gotz a date wit Rihanna." DEE: "Yeah, an I'm gonna b tappin dat big neanderthal Khloe's gangly ass!" KEMP: "Hey man, doz iz my bkitches!!!" FIGGY: "Well, dey wuz." KEMP: "Wutchu mean wuz?!!!" DEE: "Dey sez dey only bang starters..." FIGGY: "Yeah dude, puig n carl awready dun em..." DEE: "Yeah, n dre's afta us." KEMP: "But doz be my bkitches!!!" FIGGY: "No dawg, u b dey's bkitch." DEE: "Nah playa, he b our bkitch." FIGGY: "U right, my bad." KEMP: "Man, fukk u bkitches!!!" FIGGY: "No, but we b fukkin youz bkitches." DEE: "werd, bkitch. __
Did teh season it all change for me. I be good team guy. Make friend with all teh guys. Help teh kids, help win teh games am be agooder mam now. Hey. That Cuban Alex got nice ears.
DRE: Hey bro. You're the whitest brother I have ever met. You're like a dark Matt Kemp with a bunch of tools. Rusty and busted fucking tools. DEE: I thought we were friends? DRE: Only on Jackie's day bkitch. DEE: Daaaamn. Racist. DRE: Go shine my shoes and press my khakis you Juan Pierre mother fucker.
RIZZO: "So what's your strategy for today's game?" DBB: "Um... uh... err... duh... um..." RIZZO: "What the fuck is wrong with you?!!! Seriously, are you fucken retarded?!!!" DBB: "Der... duh... eegh... gerr... deeyum..." _
TURNER: "Got any threes?" ADRIAN: "Sit the fuck down you stupid ginger motherfucker!" TURNER: "Y u gotta h8 agon?" URIBE: "Because we're playing poker not go fish dumbass!" TURNER: "O, my bad dawgz... YAHTZEE!!!" HANLEY: "Man, I can hardly wait to be a Yankee..." ADRIAN: "What's that?" HANLEY: "Oh nothing." _
DBB: "Alright Dee, let me show you how to make the pivot on a double play." DEE: "Datz a'ight dawg, Davey awready showed me. Sides, shunt u b gittin ready fo tha game?" DBB: "Wow, racist." DEE: "U really iz retarded, ain't u?" __