FRIEDMAN: "lol, nice outfit. Did your mom dress you this morning?" KASTEN: "No, but your mom undressed me last night." FRIEDMAN: "Wow, dick!" KASTEN: "She said that too, only more emphatically."
MADDUX: "Dude, how long is this meeting gonna be? I gotta piss like a motherfucker." HONEYCUTT: "Why wait?" MADDUX: "What the fuck are you talking about?!!!" HONEYCUTT: "Adult diapers. In fact, I'm shitting myself right now..."
ROBERTS: "What do you mean, I'm fired?!!!" KASTEN: "Yeah, sorry about that." ROBERTS: "But why? I didn't even get a chance to prove myself." KASTEN: "We only hired you because of the Oscars controversy." ROBERTS: "Some I'm truly a token." KASTEN: "No, you were a token. But now that Chris Rock agreed to host the Oscars, everything's good again." ROBERTS: "Okay, that's some Jim Crow/David Duke/John Birch society bullshit!" KASTEN: "Are those some of the Cubans we signed?" ROBERTS: "Wow... stupid, ignorant racist."
ELLIS: "Can't wait to catch all your games this year." KERSH: "Dude, really?" ELLIS: "What?" KERSH: "Dave's already said he doesn't believe in personal catchers." ELLIS: "Do you really think the nerds are gonna allow some darkie to call the shots?" KERSH: "Wow racist. No wonder Kasten likes you." ELLIS: "Werd, bkitch."
WILLS: "Hey, welcome to the Dodgers." MAEDA: "Domo arigato." WILLS: "No thanks, I don't like avocado." MAEDA: [in Japanese] "Wow idiot."
MAEDA: "Hi!" UTLEY: "..." MAEDA: "My name Kenji. How are you?" UTLEY: "..." MAEDA: "I look forward to play with you!" UTLEY: "..." MAEDA: "Okay, nice meet with you." UTLEY: [muttering] "Fucken slopes."
I dunno. Don't you find it disturbing that Irish is having all these internal discussions with himself in his head?
not disturbing at all "don't listen them irish, you know what's up." "thank irish, good looking out."
I have the same voices. "Don't get drunk tonight jpl, it's not worth it." "Don't listen to him, he's a huge pussy."
KERSH: "So how about some pointers?" MADDUX: "Okay, fuck as many bitches as you can while you still can." KERSH: "But I'm married." MADDUX: "So were half the pigs I banged." KERSH: "But I'm a Christian." MADDUX: "Again, so were half the pigs I banged." KERSH: "But I can't. I mean, what would Ellen say?" MADDUX: "Well, last night she said thank you and then took a taxi home." KERSH: "Wow, dick." MADDUX: "Ironically, that's one of her favorite battle cries." KERSH:
PA: "Warning, Arizona immigration is on their way!" ROBERTS: "Damn it Kenley, he's just fucking with you. "
ROBERTS: "Damn it Joc, no phone calls during team meetings!" JOC: "Sorry, but your wife wants me to return the panties she left in my room." ALL:
ROBERTS: "So, what do you know about Joc and my wife?" HONEYCUTT: "I know that I let him bang her first." ROBERTS: "What???" HONEYCUTT: "Cuz if I'da gone first the kid woulda been like a knife in a mayonnaise jar. I dremmeled that shit out." ROBERTS:
HATCH: "There's one there!" KERSH: "And another one there!" HATCH: "Holy shit!" KERSH: "Yup, them Gingers are everywhere." BRETT: ~assholes